Airplanes
My mom had her headphones plugged into the electrical outlet on the plane. That’s all.
Life lessons.
I was talking to julie on the phone and she asks what’s wrong. “Well,” I said, “I’m depressed. My job is taking a shit on me, I can’t skate because of my job, I’m super broke and to be honest I’m really lonely.” Her response? All I need to do is lose some weight and put some makeup on. Because I would be really pretty if I just wore some makeup. And if I lost some weight, guys might start to like me. Thanks.
Upcoming Vacation
Julie: “We can’t go together! It’ll be like ‘im hot’ ‘im cold’ ‘im pissed!’” Me: which one am i?
On pharmaceuticals.
Julie: now that I’m on these pills, I really don’t have to lay down ever!
Me: mom, ok srsly, do any of your pills have the word ‘meth’ in them? Like dioxymethelamine? Blahblahmethblah?
Julie: I don’t know! it just says MTWThFSSu.
Me: oh god.
I told julie I had a fever so she came out to ypsi…and bearing gifts! Walmart-brand dayquil, two diet applesauces, and a resin figure of the face of Westminster Abbey.
Geography
“I mean, when I think of Florida, I don’t think of the South. Florida’s not the real south, like Georgia or Alabama.”
On kids.
Walking through meijer I saw a little baby dress with a tutu. Julie says “just think of it with puke on it.”
So, we had an Ultimate GDJulie moment a couple days ago. I got a flat tire on 94. Because my idiot ex used up all my roadside calls with AAA, I needed to use one of my parent’s. I called my mom, who promptly told me to fuck right off, said I was a dumbass for getting a flat tire and that I could definitely not use one of her roadside calls because she might need them. Eventually my dad talked her into helping me, and this all resulted in her feeling really bad and in the end, she bought me a new set of tires for my car and paid my phone bill. I almost just didn’t post this, because I was near mental-breakdown point….but since the issue is resolved I figured…might as well.
